Calling out Loudersound and their Judas Priest album ranking

Okay. so I've looked at Ultimate Classic Rock's best-to-worst ranking of the Deep Purple discography, and I've also done The Guardian's Black Sabbath ranking too, so how about a ganders at Loudersound's opinion of the Judas Priest catalogue? I figured it'd be more fun to analyse a different critic site's opinion for each of these articles, so this is Loudersound's Dom Lawson's list. Unlike The Guardian (and to an extent, Ultimate Classic Rock), I don't have much of a chip on my shoulder regarding Loudersound; I haven't really read many of their articles to be honest (although I am sort of familiar with Lawson, because he writes for several publications), so let's just jump straight in.

Original article: https://www.loudersound.com/features/every-judas-priest-album-ranked-from-worst-to-best

18. DEMOLITION (2001)

What they say:

"A noble but flawed attempt to be all things to all metalheads, Demolition is no one’s favourite Judas Priest album. A halfway house between the band’s classic sound and the hybrid futurism of the ‘90s, it lacks any truly great songs and, despite Tim ‘Ripper’ Owens’ stunning vocal performance, served largely as confirmation that a reunion with Rob Halford was the only credible way forward."

What I say:

I get why this is at the bottom of a lot of peoples' lists, but it's not actually my least favourite Priest record, even if it does rank towards the bottom. I agree that there aren't any great songs here, but there's a bunch that I do still like, namely 'Machine Man', 'Feed On Me', 'Hell is Home' and 'Bloodsuckers'. The problem with Demolition is that Glenn Tipton essentially took over all songwriting duties and tried to modernise the sound by adding all these effects and traits that were common with the metal scene at the time, and it simply doesn't pair with the band's signature style. As for Tim Owens' vocal performance, I wouldn't call it 'stunning' (he's done better), but he's competent enough I guess. Again, I sorta like Demolition, but I can understand the hate it often gets from others.

17. ROCKA ROLLA (1974)

What they say:

"Judas Priest’s debut album was more about hinting at their potential than clicking into the higher gear that the band would later use to conquer the world. Rocka Rolla is enjoyable enough, with its faint whiff of progressive hard rock and its warm, analogue tones, but it’s a patchy affair and never comes close to the grandeur and grit of the classics."

What I say:

Woah now! Rocka Rolla deserves to be a lot higher up the list in my opinion. It's a perfectly acceptable debut album from a band who hadn't yet found their feet. That means you are getting touches of prog rock within the songs, as well as blues - but guess what? It was 1974, and heavy metal was barely an established genre anyway. This was heavy for '74. Favourites include the insanely catchy title track, the proggy 'Winter'/'Deep Freeze'/'Winter Retreat' trilogy, the chugging 'Cheater' and the surprisingly epic 'Run of the Mill'. Production is lacking, true, but the songs are great - and the twin guitar usage was still fresh and innovative for it's time. Rob Halford wasn't quite screeching yet, but he was still a force to be reckoned with even during the early years.

16. RAM IT DOWN (1988)

What they say:

"Returning to their traditional sound after the electronic detours of Turbo, Judas Priest stuck to the basics on their 11th studio album. Unfortunately, with the exception of the title track and 'Blood Red Skies', Ram It Down is a largely forgettable collection of box-ticking stompers with a perfunctory version of Chuck Berry’s 'Johnny B. Goode' thrown in for no apparent reason."

What I say:

Actually, there is a reason for the Chuck Berry cover. It was recorded for a shitty movie of the same name during this period, and that's how it also ended up on Ram It Down. I agree that it's absolutely awful however. In fact, I largely agree with the guy here in general, although I will add that the power metal-like 'Hard as Iron' is fucking awesome and a true deep cut from this record. Yep, the title track and 'Blood Red Skies' are great too, but the rest of the music just isn't up to snuff. Oh, and replacing human-operated drums with a drum machine made no sense either.

15. NOSTRADAMUS (2008)

What they say:

"Judas Priest split opinion with this sumptuous conceptual effort, partly because it saw the band veer into symphonic metal territory, replete with choirs and oceans of keyboards. For all its self-conscious bluster, Nostradamus does contain some killer tunes, however. 'Prophecy', the title track and 'Pestilence And Plague' are all killer, but the Priest boys couldn’t quite sustain that quality for the album’s daunting 102 minutes."

What I say:

The most polarising Priest album for sure. There's fans out there that absolutely despise Nostradamus, yet (somehow) there's also people out there that consider it a masterpiece and one of the best things they ever recorded. Me? Well, the whole project is far too monotonous to get through in one sitting, with far too many dull instrumental and filler segments for it's own good. However, there's enough songs on here to create an excellent normal-length album. I agree that 'Nostradamus', 'Prophecy' and 'Pestilence and Plague' are all great, but so is the haunting 'Death', the melodic 'Conquest', the metallic 'Visions' and the majestic 'Revelations'. The symphonic elements actually work for these songs, adding a new dimension of grandeur to the Priest formula. They were originally going to perform the whole thing on stage - I don't think that would've gone down well with many of the the fans, but I did see them on this tour, and the Nostradamus songs sounded great in live perspective. So yes, I do like Nostradamus, just not all of it.

14. JUGULATOR (1997)

What they say:

"Rather than attempt to cajole cynical fans into embracing the start of the Tim ‘Ripper’ Owens era by playing it safe, Jugulator declared that post-Halford Priest were in an unforgiving and furious mood. A vicious modern metal album that owed as much to Pantera and Slayer as it did to the trad metal world, it failed to set the world on fire but thoroughly deserves to be reassessed now. If nothing else, the closing 'Cathedral Spires' is an outright classic in Judas Priest's canon."

What I say:

I used to love Jugulator as a teen because it's by far the heaviest album they ever recorded, taking inspiration from thrash and groove metal. It's not a favourite of mine any more, but I still get a kick out of many of these songs, namely the epic 'Cathedral Spires', the bruising 'Blood Stained', the surprisingly catchy 'Burn in Hell' and the thrashy title track. I don't think Tim Owens (who sounds much more like Rob here than he did on Demolition) had anything to do with the style of music; I think this album would've been recorded either way had Halford stuck around after Painkiller. The heavier sound works overall, save for Tipton and Downing's sudden obsession with Slayer-like guitar solos, which really do suck. Still, I like this record overall, I just don't love it like I used to.

13. REDEEMER OF SOULS (2014)

What they say:

"Not quite the sizzling return to form that many proclaimed it to be, Redeemer Of Souls is simply a really good Judas Priest album. New guitarist Richie Faulkner acquits himself brilliantly throughout, the sound falls neatly between Painkiller and Angel Of Retribution and, on the stunning 'Crossfire', Priest prove that they are masters of metal and the blues."

What I say:

A competent first-outing for Richie Faulkner, but calling it "a really good Judas Priest album" is a bit of an overstatement. Redeemer just isn't ambitious enough to qualify as classic Priest. There aren't any bad songs on here, but none of them really blow me away either - the band play it safe from start to finish, presumably due to the mixed reception Nostradamus got prior. The production is surprisingly thin and dry too, which is rather baffling considering it was released in 2014. That said, even if there's no scorchers here, 'Dragonaut', 'March of the Damned', 'Crossfire', 'Halls of Valhalla' and the title track are still great songs that always make the playlists for me.

12. POINT OF ENTRY (1981)

What they say:

"Following the globe-conquering British Steel was never going to be easy, and while Point Of Entry features a brace of platinum-plated Priest gems ('Heading Out To The Highway' and 'Desert Plains', since you ask) and both 'Solar Angels' and ''Hot Rockin'’' have been welcome additions during Judas Priest's live shows, it never quite hits the heights of its triumphant predecessor."

What I say:

An obvious attempt at adapting the sound they perfected on British Steel for radio airplay, Point of Entry has to be one of the most disappointing albums of all time. While it isn't a terrible record (aside from 'You Say Yes', which is terrible), it doesn't come close to it's predecessor. True, 'Heading Out to the Highway' and 'Solar Angels' are great songs. 'Desert Plains' is a tad overrated, but still cool. 'Hot Rockin'' is... okay I guess, but also pretty silly. The rest of the songs are just 'meh' to me - listenable, sure, but they lack the balls of British Steel... diet British Steel then.

11. TURBO (1986)

What they say:

"Much-maligned at the time thanks to Judas Priest’s decision to embrace the (then) mildly futuristic sounds of the synthesizer, Turbo is far, far better than you may have heard. The first four tracks offer an unstoppable barrage of driving riffs and thunderous beats and - despite a mild mid-album slump – the overall quality of the songs makes a mockery of the notion that an aesthetic side-step had diluted the band’s metal spirit."

What I say:

Well, this one ranks stone dead last on my ranking. It's weird - when I first starting listening to Priest around maybe 2005, it seemed like everyone on the internet hated Turbo, yet these days everyone seems to love it... well, everyone except me. While 'Turbo Lover' will forever remain a favourite of mine, and the fact I've always somewhat enjoyed 'Locked In', there's synth-drenched stuff on here that just makes me cringe. Stuff like the braindead anthem 'Rock You All Around the World', and the wannabe teenage rebelion statement 'Parental Guidance'... this is the same fucking band that recorded ingenious slabs of heavy metal such as Stained Class for crying out loud! 'Out in the Cold' has grown on me over the years, but Turbo is the one Priest album I'll never understand. People seem to love it because it's supposed to be fun and radio-friendly. You know, they already had hits without selling out before this thing came along! The chicks were flooding to Priest concerts during this era, but only this era for the band. They were also flooding to Poison and Bon Jovi concerts. Says it all really.

10. ANGEL OF RETRIBUTION (2005)

What they say:

"After the much-anticipated return of Rob Halford to the Judas Priest fold, the Brummie legends must have known instinctively that their next album had to be a cracker. And so it proved, with a batch of songs that skilfully updated the band’s classic sound while also remembering to keep the heavy metal flag flying high. 'Judas Rising' is a superb opener, 'Angel' is one of Priest’s finest ever ballads and yes, preposterous 13-minute denouement 'Loch Ness' fucking rules. Yes it does."

What I say:

This one's been a grower for me over time. As a Rob Halford reunion record, I always found it to be slightly underwhelming; Halford re-joining Priest should have resulted in an absolute molten metal scorcher of an album, but instead we're left with a perfectly serviceable, yet somewhat tame record. Like I said though, it's grown on me over the years. The songs are well-crafted, mature slices of latter-day Judas Priest. 'Worth Fighting For' is one of their best ever ballads, 'Deal With the Devil' is a fine speed metal platter, 'Revolution' is a catchy single, and while 'Loch Ness' certainly does not "fucking rule", I too seem to enjoy it a lot more than most other fans out there. The vintage production really does the album a world of good too.

9. SIN AFTER SIN (1977)

What they say:

"Routinely overshadowed by the previous year’s Sad Wings Of Destiny, Sin After Sin was a transitional record that saw Judas Priest inch away from their moderately progressive roots and focus on the unbridled metal glory to come. Obvious highlights like 'Starbreaker' and 'Dissident Aggressor (which was, of course, memorably covered by Slayer on South Of Heaven) are up there with the band’s best tunes."

What I say:

An amazing album. 'Sinner', 'Starbreaker' and of course, 'Dissident Aggressor' were three of the most metal songs ever in 1977, with 'Dissident Aggressor' being particularly ahead of it's time thanks to it's chugging riffage. The Joan Baez cover, 'Diamonds and Rust', is so good that even Joan herself loves it. Meanwhile, there's also plenty of deep cuts on here to really sink your teeth into; 'Raw Deal' is a cool bluesy metal romp while 'Last Rose of Summer' is a pretty, tuneful ballad that deserves more credit. I love it.

8. KILLING MACHINE (1978)

What they say:

"Arguably the album that first showcased the classic Judas Priest sound, Killing Machine is rammed to the gills with bona fide anthems: 'Hell Bent For Leather', 'Running Wild', 'Rock Forever', 'Delivering The Goods', 'The Green Manalishi'… they’re all here and they all kick a vast amount of arse. Even the elegant ballad Before The Dawn crackles with electrified confidence. A game-changing ripsnorter, basically."

What I say:

The turning point for Priest. The album where Rob began riding a Harley on stage and the whole band started dressing in full leather n' spikes. They also decided to ditch longer and complex songs, opting for a more straightforward and heavy approach to the music. While it is a step-down from Stained Class, Killing Machine is still brilliant in it's own right. Yep, they certainly are kickin' ass on songs like 'Delivering the Goods', 'Hell Bent for Leather', 'Running Wild' and 'Killing Machine'. Hell, they even manage to turn Fleetwood Mac's 'The Green Manalishi' into a stupendously heavy metal banger. There's also moments of radio-friendliness with the singalong stadium 'Take On the World'. You've also got the melodic hard rock of 'Evening Star', a song which everyone seems to hate for some reason... I think it's great.

7. DEFENDERS OF THE FAITH (1984)

What they say:

"Judas Priest's second creative peak arrived in the mid ‘80s, and Defenders Of The Faith was the result. Although lacking the chart hits of Screaming For Vengeance from two years earlier, there is real substance and power to the likes of 'Freewheel Burning' and 'The Sentinel' and an endearing frisson of censor-baiting sexuality to the menacing 'Eat Me Alive'. All killer, no filler."

What I say:

All killer, no filler is true. Well, except maybe 'Heavy Duty', but aside from that Defenders of the Faith rules. I personally consider this one to be stronger than Screaming for Vengeance, which everyone seems to drool over. Like the guy says, it does lack any real chart hits - but 'Love Bites' should have been one. And possibly 'Rock Hard, Ride Free' too for that matter. The rest of this album is chock-full of heavy metal mayhem, from the speed metal of 'Freewheel Burning' and 'Eat Me Alive' to the absolutely epic 'The Sentinel', which features some of Tipton and Downing's finest ever guitar work.

6. FIREPOWER (2018)

What they say: 

"2018 was a year of upheaval for Judas Priest, long-time guitarist Glenn Tipton officially stepping away from tour duties as a result of his diagnosis for Parkinson's Disease. Tipton still put his magic touch to that year's Firepower album however, while tour guitarist Andy Sneap took up production duties alongside Ram It Down producer Tom Allom. The result was among the fieriest Priest albums in years, hitting the ground running with the title-track and not letting up for a moment from there on in, affirming that even as they approached half-a-century they were still heavy metal's most ardent defenders."

What I say:

One of the strongest traditional heavy metal albums in years. It makes Redeemer of Souls look like a warmup by comparison. Faulkner feels totally at home now, and blazes his way through modern-day classics such as the title track, 'Lightning Strike', 'Traitors Gate' and 'Necromancer'. Halford's vocal performance is outstanding, especially when you consider how old he is now. I have to mention 'Never the Heroes' too, one of the most epic Priest songs in ages. The cherry on top is Andy Sneap/Tom Allom's excellent production.

5. BRITISH STEEL (1980)

What they say:

"Many fans would doubtless put this album at the top of their own 'best of' Judas Priest lists, and there’s no questioning British Steel’s brilliance, or its huge influence on the entire world of metal. You simply can’t argue with 'Breaking The Law', 'Metal Gods' or 'Rapid Fire' and 'Living After Midnight' is one of the ultimate party metal anthems. The rest is nearly as good, and that’s pretty fucking good by anyone’s standards."

What I say:

To be honest, I'm surprised to see British Steel as this guy's number five. Most critic sites list it as number one, and that's probably just because it has 'Breaking the Law' on it. Catchy tune, yes, but there's a long, long list of better Priest songs. Like Sabbath's 'Paranoid', 'Breaking the Law' is one of those simple, fun songs, but that's about it really. How it became their signature number is baffling. As for the rest of the album, well, I do love it. It's a classic... but classic does not necessarily make it a masterpiece. The songs are great (aside from 'You Don't Have to Be Old to be Wise'... and arguably 'United' considering it's basically just 'Take On the World' with new lyrics - but I still dig it), from barnburner 'Rapid Fire', the hulking 'Metal Gods', the singalong 'Living After Midnight' and the speedy finale 'Steeler'. But that's it - they're just great songs, not masterpieces. Still, British Steel is a record that instantly pops up in my head when somebody puts the words 'heavy' and 'metal' together. When it has that influence on you, it's gotta be important.

4. PAINKILLER (1990)

What they say:

"The end of Rob Halford’s first period as Judas Priest frontman arrived shortly after the release of one of their greatest albums. Painkiller rips from start to finish and single-handedly redefined the sound of traditional heavy metal in the process. There are literally hundreds of bands out there peddling this exact same sound, but no one will ever top the original. And that title track… holy fucking shit."

What I say:

I agree with everything said here. Possibly the most metal album of all time, Painkiller is a metallic tour de force. Halford sings like his life depended on it, while Tipton and Downing's guitar playing has been taken to another level. This is the kind of album that puts other metal bands in their place. The title track is one of the finest speed metal tracks ever recorded while songs such as 'Hell Patrol', 'Metal Meltdown' and 'Leather Rebel' are so metal that they make even Manowar blush. Even the ballad 'A Touch of Evil' manages to out-metal almost everything else in existence! This was the second Priest album I ever heard, and it converted me.

3. SAD WINGS OF DESTINY (1976)

What they say:

"Black Sabbath may have inadvertently invented heavy metal, but Judas Priest defined it with their second album. Grandiloquent, adventurous and epic as all hell, Sad Wings… kicks off with 'Victim Of Changes' – one of the greatest metal songs ever written, let’s face it – and then sustains its air of supreme confidence and power for the duration. If you love metal, you need this album in your life."

What I say:

It's actually my number one, but I respect this man's critique. Sad Wings of Destiny is in my opinion, one of the greatest metal albums of all time. It's heavy ('The Ripper', 'Deceiver', 'Tyrant'), epic ('Victim of Changes'), bluesy ('Island of Domination'), majestic ('Dreamer Deceiver') and sometimes even pretty ('Epitaph'). The whole album is wrapped in a layer of irresistible mystique and grandeur, reinforced by the masterful album cover. It takes the same formulas that Rocka Rolla toyed with, only everything is multiplied by a thousand. As much as I love what the band would eventually become just a few years later, there's something about pre-leather Priest that is just fantastic.

2. STAINED CLASS (1978)

What they say:

"As the 70s drew to a close, Judas Priest were hitting their stride in no uncertain terms. Their fourth album exudes a ferocious energy, as songs like 'Exciter', 'Invader' and the towering morbidity of 'Beyond The Realms Of Death' upgraded the ‘70s hard rock template for a new decade. Even a cover of psychedelic rock mob Spooky Tooth’s 'Better By You, Better Than Me' slayed and flayed like a maniac. A true metal milestone."

What I say:

Priest were the smartest, most innovative metal band in the world in 1978, and albums like Stained Class are to thank for the way metal sounds the way it is today. It was the last record to be made by what I like to refer to as 'vintage Priest', when they were still creative wizards at the cutting edge of heavy music. Just to clarify, there is nothing wrong with many of the albums they would record later down the line - I just think they found a sound and image and pretty much stuck with it from Killing Machine onward (with the odd detour here and there in Turbo and Nostradamus). Anyhow, 'Exciter' is essentially proto-thrash metal, and it's fucking awesome, 'Beyond the Realms of Death' is one of the greatest - if not THE greatest - heavy metal ballads of all time, 'White Heat, Red Hot' is a classy slice of metallic goodness and the Spooky Tooth cover should have been a hit single. Meanwhile 'Invader' and 'Saints in Hell' are true deep cuts. Shout out to Les Binks; the drumming on this album is never dull, and full of all these cool and exciting fills. Shame he only played on this and Killing Machine. Every Priest fan knows that this is one of their best, so kudos to the author for this one too.

1. SCREAMING FOR VENGEANCE (1982)

What they say:

"Judas Priest’s biggest breakthrough, particularly in the US, came with this immaculate slab of none-more-metal bravado. Screaming For Vengeance is an imperious display of heavy metal in its purest, most exhilarating form: from the ageless rush of 'Electric Eye' and the world-dominating thud of 'You’ve Got Another Thing Comin’' through to the neck-wrenching attack of the title track and the fiery crunch of 'Devil’s Child', it’s a flawless encapsulation of everything that made metal such a global force during the ‘80s. And (almost) 40 years on, it’s still exerting its influence over countless aspiring metal musicians around the globe. A steely masterpiece with a giant heart."

What I say:

Ah, now I can't agree with this placement at all. While Screaming for Vengeance is a genuine, bona fide heavy metal classic, this doesn't automatically classify it as a 'masterpiece'. I already said this about British Steel. Don't get me wrong, the majority of this album is very, very strong - but jeez... there's a whole bunch of better Priest records in my opinion! 'Pain and Pleasure' and 'Fever' have never been favourites of mine, while 'You've Got Another Thing Comin'' - as fun as it is - is overplayed and basic in the same vein as 'Breaking the Law'. That said, there's a bunch of songs on here that totally, utterly kick ass; 'Electric Eye', 'Riding On the Wind' and the title track to be precise. 'Bloodstone' is radio-friendly metal at it's finest, such a catchy tune! I've always liked '(Take These) Chains' too. However, I really don't agree that Screaming should be placed in the top five, let alone number one. At least he didn't do the predictable thing and stick British Steel in that place I suppose.

So there you have it. I must admit, I found this list to be much more agreeable and respectable than that Guardian ranking of the Black Sabbath catalogue. In fact, my number two is also Stained Class, while Sad Wings of Destiny and Painkiller sit at number one and three - all three of these records are in his top four, which was actually quite surprising. Really can't agree with the Turbo placement, but as I said, that album's popularity seems to have rocketed in the last decade. This is my ranking:

18. Turbo (1986)

17. Point of Entry (1981)

16. Demolition (2001)

15. Ram It Down (1988)

14. Nostradamus (2008)

13. Redeemer of Souls (2014)

12. Angel of Retribution (2005)

11. Jugulator (1997)

10. Rocka Rolla (1974)

9. Screaming for Vengeance (1982)

8. Firepower (2018)

7. British Steel (1980)

6. Killing Machine (1978)

5. Sin After Sin (1977)

4. Defenders of the Faith (1984)

3. Painkiller (1990)

2. Stained Class (1978)

1. Sad Wings of Destiny (1976)

Calling out The Guardian and their Black Sabbath album ranking

I had fun looking at Ultimate Classic Rock's Deep Purple album ranking, so how about we look at The Guardian's worst-to-best list of Black Sabbath albums? I looked at numerous other sites' rankings (including UCR), but chose The Guardian because I wasn't expecting to see a Sabbath list on their site, and also because I find most mainstream newspapers to be the tabloid equivalent of AIDS. I try to keep politics away from my blog, so I won't elaborate any further - let's just say that politically I fucking hate mainstream news journals, regardless of which way they lean politically. They're pathetic. Let's just leave it at that. Oh, it's also worth mentioning that they sadly left out the 2009 Heaven & Hell album The Devil You Know, aka 'the Black Sabbath album in all but name'.

Original article: www.theguardian.com/music/2019/jan/31/every-black-sabbath-album-ranked-ozzy-osbourne

19. SEVENTH STAR (1986)

What they say:

"Seventh Star was meant to be Tony Iommi’s first solo album, until label and management decided no one was going to buy it, and insisted it be billed as Black Sabbath, even if only Iommi was pictured on the cover. That it isn’t really Sabbath is apparent from the power ballad 'No Stranger to Love'. Power ballad? Sabbath? Madness."

What I say:

True. It was meant to be Tony's first solo record, and for that reason you can cut Seventh Star some slack for having the power ballad 'No Stranger to Love' on it. I'll admit that this number is about as far removed from Sabbath as it gets, but songs like 'In for the Kill', 'Turn to Stone', 'Danger Zone' and 'Angry Heart' are all great songs that prove Tony was capable of writing more than just doom and gloom - and let's not forget Glenn Hughes' outstanding vocal performance on here. Not the best Sabbath album by any means, but a perfectly serviceable Iommi solo effort.

18. DEHUMANIZER (1992)

What they say:

"Dehumanizer? Well, it certainly makes you feel like letting go of your humanity. The return of Geezer Butler and Ronnie James Dio should have been a good thing, but the band forgot to write any good songs to take advantage of the optimism. 'Letters from Earth' has a good Iommi riff, but the rest is subpar."

What I say:

Dehumanizer? At number eighteen? Really?! This is a stupendously heavy, doomy, killer slab of true fucking heavy metal. A fine comeback for Ronnie James Dio, who sounds angrier than ever. Meanwhile Tony's pumping out crushing riff after crushing riff on tracks like 'Computer God', '(After All) The Dead' and 'Buried Alive'. 'Time Machine' kicks ass while the monolithic 'I' is dripping with atmosphere. Terrific album.

17. FORBIDDEN (1995)

What they say:

"What long looked likely to be the final Black Sabbath album would have been a sad little footnote to their career. The appearance of Ice-T on 'Illusion of Power' – the album was produced by Ernie C of Body Count – signified a band who had lost their way as surely as a middle-aged executive buying a Harley-Davidson."

What I say:

Forbidden is the album that tends to rank at the bottom of most peoples' lists, so I was surprised to see it at number seventeen. I dig the songs, but I can't exactly deny that hiring Ernie C to produce it was the wrong decision. Cozy Powell's usually-pounding drums are lacking here because of it. There's still some gems to be found in the groovy 'Get a Grip', the haunting 'Kiss of Death' and the moody 'Can't Get Close Enough'. And Ice-T's appearance on 'The Illusion of Power' is a mere twenty-second or so spoken-word segment. I like Forbidden, but it's not without it's faults.

16. TYR (1990)

What they say:

"The 15th Sabbath album doesn’t sound much like Sabbath at all. The riffs are conventional mainstream metal: it would have sounded perfectly of its time five years earlier, but by 1990 – with Ozzy Osbourne-era Sabbath being exhumed by grunge and stoner bands – something more like the band of 20 years before might have hit home a lot harder."

What I say:

'The Law Maker' manages to sound more like Motorhead musically, and I do agree that some of the other riffs scattered throughout this record don't always sound like signature Iommi material. But 'Valhalla' and 'Anno Mundi' are epic, and 'The Sabbath Stones' is prime Sabbath. Tony Martin's lyrics are cool too; he took the Norse mythology path, and it only enhances TYR's atmosphere. Not one of my favourite albums, but solid.

15. THE ETERNAL IDOL (1987)

What they say:

"The first album with singer Tony Martin opened with an Iommi riff that offered hope of redemption: The Shining was more polished than, say, Wheels of Confusion, but it suggested Sabbath might be able to claw their way out of their hole. It often felt, though, as if the rest of the band were sanding down their leader’s riffs to fit an 80s template."

What I say:

The first thing that comes to mind when I think 'Eternal Idol', is the insane amount of absolutely brilliant riffs on each and every song (save for acoustic instrumental 'Scarlet Pimpernel' of course). 'Born to Lose' is ridiculously catchy, 'Hard Life to Love' gives me Zeppelin vibes, 'Ancient Warrior' is a mystical wonder, and as for the title track - holy hell, one of the doomiest songs Iommi ever penned! And yes, 'The Shining' is a fantastically epic opener. Tony Martin also gives a fine vocal performance, this being his debut with the band. No-one else sounds like him. And "sanding down their leader's riffs to fit an 80s template" - nope, not true. The production is the most 80s thing about this record, not the music. Classic.

14. HEADLESS CROSS (1988)

What they say:

"Some Sabbath loyalists make a case for Headless Cross being a neglected classic. They can make the case, but they’re wrong. It’s perfectly serviceable, but Martin was an identikit metal singer: he sings about Satan with all the menace of someone offering cheese samples at Morrisons deli counter."

What I say:

A fan favourite, and for good reason. Whereas individually I prefer hearing the songs that Eternal Idol had to offer, as a complete album experience I think Headless Cross is the better choice. The album has a sublime atmosphere like no other; and strangely, it's the big 80s production sound that actually contributes towards this. And as for the Satanic lyrics, how could 'Headless Cross', 'Kill In the Spirit World' and 'When Death Calls' have worked without them? Answer - they wouldn't have. Tony Martin is awesome.

13. TECHNICAL ECSTASY (1976)

What they say:

"Butler claimed Technical Ecstasy was Sabbath responding to punk. Given it was recorded in June 1976, that suggests they were either way ahead of the curve, or that Butler is mistaken. Back Street Kids may back his claim, but most of the rest of Technical Ecstasy was a mess."

What I say:

An undoubtedly unfocused album, partially because of the punk movement as the writer says. However, the band themselves were a mess at this point - the drugs and poor management had taken their toll on each and all of them. Ozzy even briefly left in 1977. I certainly don't agree with the statement "most of the rest of Technical Ecstasy was a mess" though. I agree that 'Back Street Kids' is great, but how could you forget about the doom-laden, almost proggy 'You Won't Change Me'? Fantastic tune! 'All Moving Parts (Stand Still)' is a groovy, hard-edged number while 'Rock n' Roll Doctor' is a good bit of fun. Hell, I even dig the Bill Ward-fronted 'It's Alright', which almost sounds like a Beatles song (!). That said, I could do without 'She's Gone'. A step backwards after the first six albums, sure, but not terrible in the slightest.

12. CROSS PURPOSES (1994)

What they say:

"For the first time in more than decade, Sabbath sounded like a contemporary metal band, rather than a group trying to sound like a contemporary metal band (and on Cardinal Sin, Iommi and Butler gave Martin the kind of preposterously epic setting that Dio had deserved). It’s no Master of Reality, but it was the best Sabbath album since the early 80s."

What I say:

They don't sound like a 'contemporary metal band' on Cross Purposes, they sound like Black Sabbath. I don't agree that it's "the best Sabbath album since the early 80s" either - Headless Cross and The Eternal Idol are still stronger Martin-fronted records in my opinion, but it's still nice to see Cross Purposes get some love here. I think it's a fine, well-crafted album, as songs like 'I Witness', 'Psychophobia' and 'The Hand That Rocks the Cradle' prove. 

11. BORN AGAIN (1983)

What they say:

"According to Sabbath mythology, Born Again should have been smothered at birth. Actually, it’s pretty good: Ian Gillan, whose only recordings with the band these were, still had his voice, and the other three are pretty focused. Of course, Gillan’s lyrics were awful and very un-Sabbath, but it was the best record he had been involved in since his time in Deep Purple."

What I say:

A favourite of mine - always has been, always will be. Born Again is one of the heaviest, most sinister albums in the discography... but also the most tongue-in-cheek. At times, it feels like the musical equivalent of a horror B-movie, and I love it. Ian Gillan's lyrics seem un-Sabbath on first inspection; 'Trashed' is based on his own experiences when he almost killed himself by crashing Bill Ward's car while 'Digital Bitch' is often rumoured to be about Sharon Osbourne. But calling them "awful" is total horseshit. The man's always been a brilliant lyricist, with Deep Purple or any project he was ever attached to. And his actual vocals on this album are off the hook. 'Disturbing the Priest', 'Zero the Hero' and 'Born Again' are three of the best Sabbath tracks of all time. Even the famously-botched production manages to work in it's favour. Love it, love it, love it.

10. NEVER SAY DIE! (1978)

What they say:

"The final album of the original Ozzy era has a terrible reputation, but it’s a quirky and enjoyable record, as long as you don’t expect Sabbath Even Bloodier Sabbath. The title track has garage-band rawness; Air Dance is – dare one say it – oddly beautiful. It’s hit and miss, but it’s still better than almost everything from 1981 onwards."

What I say:

An album I want to love, but just can't no matter how hard I try. The drugs were really talking at this point - 'Breakout'? The fuck is this?! SMOOTH JAZZ on a Sabbath record?! Even Ozzy refused to sing on it. The synths on 'Johnny Blade' bring down what is otherwise a great song while 'A Hard Road' is just an irritatingly happy tune. However, the title track is fun, 'Junior's Eyes' is brilliant (and surprisingly sophisticated) and I agree that 'Air Dance' is oddly beautiful. 'Swinging the Chain' is another rare Bill Ward-fronted track, and a cool one at that. A polarising album... some people love it, others hate it. I'm still on the fence with it after all these years!

9. 13 (2013)

What they say:

"The original foursome reconvened for the first time since 1978 – and for the first record by any Sabbath lineup since 1995 – under the guidance of producer Rick Rubin, who fairly evidently told them there was only one thing people wanted Black Sabbath to do: sound like Black Sabbath. It didn’t scale the original heights, but 13 was miles better than anyone dared expect."

What I say:

The worst Black Sabbath album of all time. Why? Because the whole thing feels like a money-making scheme and a couple of the songs even directly rip-off the oldies. 'End of the Beginning' is just a less-threatening 'Black Sabbath' while 'Zeitgeist' is a carbon-copy 'Planet Caravan'. Ooh but look, Ozzy's back!! So fucking what. The so-called 'fans' who wanted him back are the same ones who never even bothered to listen to all the brilliant albums without Ozzy. Black Sabbath is and always will be Tony Iommi, end of. But... but... Rick Rubin produced it! The biggest music producer in the world! Great, so that means we're dealing with a horribly dry-sounding record, with absolutely zero bass and reverb all in the name of the 'loudness war'. Fortunately I do like 'God Is Dead?' and 'Live Forever'...

P.S. "The original foursome" are NOT present here. Rage Against the Machine drummer Brad Wilk steps in because Bill Ward wasn't part of the project.

8. MOB RULES (1981)

What they say:

"After the success of Heaven and Hell (1980), Sabbath essentially made the same album again, just not quite as well. But what could have been a productive 80s was derailed by rows about the mix (Iommi accused Dio of sneaking back to the studio at night to turn his vocals up) and by Dio’s departure."

What I say:

What the hell is this guy on about?! Now look here Mr. Michael Hann, if you'd done your fucking research you'd know that all the supposed "rows about the mix" are only relevant when discussing 1983's Live Evil, which is the actual reason for Dio's departure - NOT Mob Rules, which features a terrific production job courtesy of Martin Birch. This is the first time I've ever heard anyone rag on Mob Rules' production. Also, the album does differ from Heaven and Hell in that it's heavier, darker in tone and the fact Dio's lyrics moved away from his signature rainbows n' wizards subject matter and sat more inline with traditional Sabbath values. 'Turn Up the Night' kicks ass on all levels, 'Voodoo' is an oddly bluesy metal romp that rules, 'The Sign of the Southern Cross' is a foreboding epic while the dirgy, murky instrumental 'E5150' provides the perfect intro to the storming title track. Oh, and 'Country Girl' is killer too. Fantastic album.

7. BLACK SABBATH (1970)

What they say:

"A tolling bell, the sound of pouring rain, then the riff that changed everything: Black Sabbath invented an entire worldview within the first 60 seconds of their debut. You can still hear the blues-rock band they had been – The Wizard; Evil Woman, Don’t Play Your Games With Me; an interminable cover of Aynsley Dunbar’s Warning – which makes it an album of greater promise than reality."

What I say:

One of very few legitimately unsettling LP's ever recorded, from the songs to the creepy album cover. Nothing else sounds like it. Even Ozzy's voice changed after this one. There's a strong blues influence on here, that much is true, but it doesn't negatively affect the songs in any way. Every song is a classic. Me personally, I'd have it much higher on my list, but the remaining albums in this guy's list are all superb anyway, so I can't really complain.

6. SABOTAGE (1975)

What they say:

"The last of the run of great albums (the fact you can see drummer Bill Ward’s underpants through his wife’s red tights on the cover is a handy metaphor for a band that was about to lose its grip), and still fantastic. Symptom of the Universe barrels along, before reaching a fabulous acoustic section – it is an album full of invention. And Osbourne, rarely an expressive singer, was at his best here."

What I say:

The last of the classic albums with the original lineup, that much is true. Not one of my personal favourites from this period, but still a fucking amazing record. The band's creativity here was still at an all-time high after the surprisingly ambitious Sabbath Bloody Sabbath, and you can hear this on tracks like 'Megalomania' and 'The Writ', not to mention the bizarre 'Am I Going Insane (Radio)'. Meanwhile 'Hole in the Sky' and 'Symptom of the Universe' are absolutely crushing. 

5. PARANOID (1970)

What they say:

"The title track! Iron Man! Rhyming “masses” with “masses” on War Pigs! The second Sabbath album was a leap into a different dimension from their debut: a huge, grim, monolithic edifice that brooked no doubt. You didn’t think it was OK; you thought it was the greatest thing ever. Or you hated it. For many years, virtually every critic fell into the second camp. The fools."

What I say:

Now this was a surprise. Most online ranking lists like to stick Paranoid at the top, because it's got 'War Pigs', 'Iron Man' and of course, 'Paranoid' on it - arguably the most famous Sabbath tracks. It's an absolute classic alright, but I agree with the author that it isn't necessarily one of their best. 'Rat Salad' is a patchy instrumental, a wannabe 'Moby Dick'. And Tony wasn't detuning his guitar just yet, making the album kinda cranky at times. Minor complaints, but still worth noting. 'Hand of Doom' is masterful; one of the most underrated songs.

4. VOL. 4 (1972)

What they say:

"The sleeve thanks “the great COKE-Cola Company of Los Angeles”, and you can hear it: Vol 4 is a powder-blown record, blank and unrelenting, grinding its teeth. Wheels of Confusion reduces the idea of the riff to its bare minimum. Snowblind – originally intended to be the title track – captures the essence of Vol 4. All your nihilist needs met in one place."

What I say:

'Changes' is a silly ballad, but aside from that the majority of this album is top-tier Sabbath. 'Under the Sun' is a sludgy doom-fest, 'Snowblind' is a tribute to cocaine, 'Tomorrow's Dream' is a catchy single and 'Supernaut'... holy shit!! 'Supernaut' is one of the coolest fucking songs EVER!! People like to rag on 'FX', throwing it in the 'filler' camp, but I like it. Kinda gives the album more atmosphere, in a way. Take away 'Changes' and you have a near-perfect record.

3. HEAVEN AND HELL (1980)

What they say:

"The opener, Neon Knights, served notice that Black Sabbath – with Dio replacing Osbourne – were revitalised. It wasn’t the only track on which the group sounded rejuvenated by the emergent new wave of British of heavy metal (see also: Die Young). The title track still had the Sabbath plod, yet they somehow sounded nimble with it. They were leading again, not following."

What I say:

In general, it tends to be most critics' favourite post-Ozzy Sabbath record, and I don't blame them - even if it's not my personal favourite. That said, it's difficult to pick holes. Maybe 'Walk Away' is filler, but the rest of this album displays a newly rejuvenated band. Dio's vocals and lyrics add a new layer of mysticism to the music, which is a little more theatrical and majestic than anything that came before. Not to mention the fact the man can actually sing, unlike Ozzy. 'Neon Knights', 'Children of the Sea', 'Heaven and Hell' and 'Die Young' are absolutely wonderful, choice-cuts for me.

2. SABBATH BLOODY SABBATH (1973)

What they say:

"The fifth Sabbath album saw them stretching out – Looking for Today has a flute break! A flute! On a Black Sabbath record! – but without sacrificing intensity. From the cover – some sort of satanic ritual in bed – through the title track, to Killing Yourself to Live, Sabbath Bloody Sabbath helped codify metal and extend its boundaries."

What I say:

The menacing album cover doesn't quite speak for the music on Sabbath Bloody Sabbath. Ironically, this album was less heavy overall than the previous four (aside from that riff on the title track... you know the one I mean... good lord...), due to the experimentation with keyboards and more usage of acoustic guitars. But does this make the songs any worse? Hell no! It's Black Sabbath showing off, and I don't blame them. You could even call the music 'progressive' at times, especially on the title track and 'Sabbra Cadabra'. No duff moments here, no sir.

1. MASTER OF REALITY (1971)

What they say:

"Master of Reality was Black Sabbath’s most subtle album yet and their most bludgeoning. Ward’s jazzy drumming – somehow swinging and precise – propelled even the most straightforward of the tracks. (Children of the Grave would be a pretty good boogie without Ward; he makes it monstrous.) The previous album was called Paranoid, but this was the one that sounded paranoid. The cause was perhaps the subject of the album’s opener, Sweet Leaf, on which a looped cough gives way to an Iommi riff so brutal that it is almost a caricature, before Osbourne spends several minutes explaining just how much he likes weed. A masterpiece."

What I say:

Correct. This is my favourite Sabbath album and I was surprised to see a critics' list with it at number one. Paranoid normally takes this slot with these people. Anyhow, Master of Reality is one of the heaviest, sludgiest, doomiest albums ever made. It's also one of the best albums ever made. Tony detuned his guitar, and just listen to those riffs on 'Children of the Grave' and 'Sweet Leaf'. Absolutely, bone-shatteringly heavy. The album even has moments of beauty, with 'Solitude' and the short instrumental 'Orchid'. I want 'Into the Void' to be played at my funeral - the heaviest song in existence. I've listened to this record a billion times and I'll continue to do so until the day I die.

In conclusion, this list was often disagreeable for me, and like many of these lists from popular publications, makes me wonder just how familiar the author really is with the discography they're critiquing. Still, the top ten was definitely fair. Well, aside from the inclusion of 13 that is, which IN NO WAY DESERVES TO BREAK THE TOP 10!! And I don't think I've ever seen Dehumanizer that far down anyone's list. That was baffling. That said, it was nice to see Mob Rules in the top ten, and Paranoid at number five instead of the usual top-spot. Here's my ranking:

19. 13 (2013)

18. Never Say Die! (1978)

17. Forbidden (1995)

16. TYR (1990) 

15. Seventh Star (1986)

14. Technical Ecstasy (1976)

13. Cross Purposes (1994)

12. Dehumanizer (1992)

11. The Eternal Idol (1987)

10. Headless Cross (1988)

9. Sabotage (1975)

8. Mob Rules (1981)

7. Paranoid (1970)

6. Heaven and Hell (1980)

5. Sabbath Bloody Sabbath (1973)

4. Born Again (1983)

3. Vol. 4 (1972)

2. Black Sabbath (1970)

1. Master of Reality (1971)

Like Deep Purple, I'm a Black Sabbath fanatic. Aside from 13, which I feel is mediocre on all levels, there's things I like about every album here. I think that every album after number fourteen (Technical Ecstasy) is great. So even if Cross Purposes only made number thirteen, I still love it.

Calling out Ultimate Classic Rock and their Deep Purple album ranking

Having just been to the Deep Purple concert in Birmingham last week, I've been binging on their discography again lately, and even re-reviewing an album or two for the millionth time. I was browsing Ultimate Classic Rock's ranking page and had the idea of commenting on each and all of their choices and descriptions - because I disagree with a lot of them. The 2021 covers album Turning to Crime is missing since the article was written before that record launched, but do covers albums really count anyway? Anyhow, I thought it'd be fun to write an article like this instead of the usual reviews for a change. Also, whenever I read critic articles like this UCR one, I sometimes find errors and opinions that makes me question whether or not the author even fucking listened to whichever album they're talking about in the first place. Ironic.

Original article: ultimateclassicrock.com/deep-purple-albums-ranked-worst-to-best/

22. BANANAS (2003)

What they say: 

"Everything about Deep Purple’s 17th studio album was just wrong. With the recent retirement of founding organist Jon Lord still a raw wound (and despite the venerable Don Airey stepping in as his replacement), the band seemed to be sleepwalking through the motions, almost parodying a parody of themselves. The careless choice of title and album cover art only seemed to reinforce this perception."

What I say:

I genuinely have no idea how they came to the conclusion that Bananas is the worst Deep Purple album. To each their own and all that... but really?! I'll admit that this one is my least favourite Steve Morse-era record (and I do agree that the album cover sucks); I don't appreciate the ballad 'Haunted' with it's Ian Gillan/Beth Hart duet, and the lengthy blues jam 'Walk On' reminds me too much of Eric Clapton - not necessarily a bad thing, it just doesn't work for me. But with great songs like 'House of Pain', 'Sun Goes Down', 'Silver Tongue' and the title track, I still like this album a fair amount. A solid effort. Far from their worst indeed!

21. THE BATTLE RAGES ON... (1993) 

What they say:

"The result of a somewhat mandated reconciliation with Ian Gillan after the poorly received “Deep Rainbow” experiment of 'Slaves and Masters,' 'The Battle Rages On...' holds the distinction of being Deep Purple’s unhappiest album. Yes, sporadic flashes of inspiration emerged in the unironic title cut and the sweeping “Anya,” but by all accounts, in most every other respect this was a miserable experience for both the band and their fans."

What I say:

Definitely one of the band's weaker Mk. II efforts, sure, and I agree that the title track is a classic, as is 'Anya' (although I don't think I actually gave 'Anya' much credit in my review...). But calling the rest of this record "a miserable experience for both the band and their fans" is a huge overstatement. Yeah, 'Time to Kill' is uninspired, but you've also got 'Lick It Up', 'Ramshackle Man' and 'A Twist in the Tail' - all fun songs. A decent album, if slightly underwhelming given the lineup.

20. SLAVES AND MASTERS (1990)

What they say:

"You can’t really blame singer Joe Lynn Turner for rising to the bait cast by his former Rainbow boss Ritchie Blackmore and agreeing to join Deep Purple for 1990’s 'Slaves and Masters.' But the almost-universal groans that met this alliance were enough to drown out the solid, if unspectacular and suspiciously AOR-driven songs conjured up for this much-maligned LP. How could it possibly last?"

What I say:

The 'actual' worst Purple album, in my opinion of course. However, I do mostly agree with UCR's comments. The music isn't terrible, but it does draw too many 80's Rainbow comparisons due to Joe Lynn Turner's presence, and I really don't enjoy 'Love Conquers All'. However, the majority of the music on here is okay for the most part. 'King of Dreams' is particularly brilliant, and Joe sings really well - but by the time this thing arrived, I think most fans were done with the band given it's poor sales. And did anyone really want another new vocalist in the band at this point? So yeah - it's my least favourite, but the fanboy in me can still get some enjoyment out of it.

19. DEEP PURPLE (1969)

What they say:

"Deep Purple’s first lineup (a.k.a. Mk. I) was seriously running out of steam on this eponymous third album. You can hear them grasping for direction amid the Summer of Love’s denouement, the as-yet unspecified concept of art rock, and the still-unclear rise of heavy metal. Hence the Donovan cover, “Lalena,” and only mildly compelling originals like “Why Didn’t Rosemary” and “This Bird Has Flown.”"

What I say:

Oh fuck off. This is by and large the best of the three Mk. I albums. It's a brilliant, brilliant record. From the psychedelic ditty 'Chasing Shadows', the baroque-esque pop of 'Blind' and the hard rocker 'The Painter,' to the classically-arranged progressive rock of 'April', this album is Jon Lord's most creative studio output before Ritchie Blackmore took the band in a much heavier direction with the Mk. II lineup in 1970.

18. CONCERTO FOR GROUP AND ORCHESTRA (1969)

What they say:

"This musical summit between rock band and symphony orchestra is clearly the wild card in Deep Purple’s career discography, but that does nothing to diminish its fascinating accomplishments. The experiment, led by the classically trained Jon Lord, wasn’t entirely successful or it wouldn’t have been a one-off. But it was certainly important enough to generate welcome press for the transitioning Deep Purple ahead of their heavy-rock rebirth."

What I say:

I don't really know why they included this one, but whatever. It's a great, original concept - orchestral rock, but some segments of it's movements can be patchy at times. It doesn't help that aside from Lord, the rest of the band weren't really into it (Ian Gillan wrote his lyrics at the last minute), but on the whole this experiment worked. I just never really classified it as a true Deep Purple album, since it was more of a one-off project. Plus, it's a live album.

17. RAPTURE OF THE DEEP (2005)

What they say:

'"Rapture of the Deep' lacked bowl-you-over songwriting depth, but after the perplexing, embarrassing 'Bananas,' it proved that Deep Purple was still a band that took themselves seriously. “Money Talks” carried itself with all due gravitas, while the bittersweet “Clearly Quite Absurd” was anything but, and “Kiss Tomorrow Goodbye” raged against the dying of the light."

What I say:

Yeah... I mean I think this is very good - nearly a great record. But UCR are forgetting the brilliance of the title track, which showcases Don Airey's brilliance as the man behind the organ. Also, 'Wrong Man', 'Junkyard Blues' and the bonus limited edition song 'MTV' are added highlights next to their recommendations of 'Money Talks', 'Clearly Quite Absurd' and 'Kiss Tomorrow Goodbye'. 

16. INFINITE (2017)

What they say:

"'Infinite' illustrated that the comeback success of 2013's 'Now What?!' was no fluke, reassembling the same team (right down to producer Bob Ezrin, who'd basically become a member of the band) to achieve similar, if slightly less consistent successes. "Time for Bedlam," in particular, recalled their glory years."

What I say:

Dunno what they mean when they claim that 'Time for Bedlam' recalls their glory years. By 'glory years' I assume they mean the Mk. II era in the early 70's. As for 'Time for Bedlam', well, the Bob Ezrin-produced Purple albums (Now What?! (2013), Infinite (2017) and Whoosh! (2020)) all feature a very distinctive and frankly superb sound that actually separates them from the majority of the rest of their records, meaning 'Time for Bedlam' sounds like current-day Deep Purple. And that's no bad thing because this era is spectacular, and Infinite is a superb record. Far better than the number sixteen slot they've given it. I do agree that this one is slightly less consistent than Now What?! however.

15. SHADES OF DEEP PURPLE (1968)

What they say:

"Its hard to see the overnight success of Deep Purple’s first LP, 'Shades of...' as anything but a fluke, just like its undeniably catchy but hardly life-changing smash hit cover of Joe South’s 'Hush.' However, the formidable instrumental prowess and budding songwriting of Ritchie Blackmore, Jon Lord, et al was already evident in standout moments like the grooving “And Her Name Was” and the aggressive instrumental “Mandrake Root.”"

What I say:

'Mandrake Root' is not an instrumental - in fact, the only instrumental on here is 'And the Address'. 'And Her Name Was' isn't even a real song title! Sadly I can't name and shame the dumbass author because UCR don't seem to reveal their writers. I do agree that 'Hush', 'Mandrake Root' as well as 'AND THE ADDRESS' are all great songs, as is 'Prelude: Happiness, I'm So Glad'. Putting this debut at number fifteen seems fair too. 

14. ABANDON (1998)

What they say:

"Though it lacked the consistent rewards of 1995’s bounce-back 'Purpendicular,' 1998’s 'Abandon' helped prove that Deep Purple’s second, post-Blackmore incarnation was here to stay. And proof was such standout tunes as the spelling-challenged “Any Fule Kno Dat,” moody “Seventh Heaven,” melancholy “Fingers to the Bone,” and very fiery “Evil Louie,” where the band’s pleasure in each other’s company was made evident by their tight performance."

What I say:

Yeah, Purpendicular was stronger overall - I can't disagree with that. In fact, they got this one right overall in it's description. I like it a lot though; it's probably the heaviest thing recorded by any Deep Purple lineup, and I'd also like to add that the bluesy 'Don't Make Me Happy', the insanely catchy groove-rocker 'Almost Human' and the re-recorded 'Bloodsucker' (dubbed 'Bludsucker' in this instance) are all awesome too. Roger Glover nailed the production this time as well - Abandon is the chunkiest, beefiest Purple album in my opinion. Whatever that means.

13. NOW WHAT?! (2013)

What they say:

"Deep Purple had no way of knowing how their fans would receive the group’s first studio release in eight years, and first since Jon Lord’s sad death from cancer. But that close brush with mortality and the extended time off apparently lit a creative fire: Their 20th LP featured an eclectic song set that rarely amazed, but even more rarely disappointed."

What I say:

I fucking love this record. Not only is it my favourite of the Steve Morse guitar albums, it's also one of my favourite Deep Purple records in general. UCR are right in saying that the songs don't disappoint, but they're also wrong in saying that they rarely amaze. The Jon Lord-dedicated ballads 'Above and Beyond' and 'Uncommon Man', combined with other tracks such as the energetic 'Hell to Pay', the unconventional heavy rock of 'Weirdistan', the metallic hammer horror-inspired 'Vincent Price' and the jazz fusion of 'Blood from a Stone' certainly continue to amaze me.

12. THE HOUSE OF BLUE LIGHT (1987)

What they say:

"Probably Deep Purple’s most polarizing album (so it stands to reason that we find it here, halfway up and down the list), 'The House of Blue Light' tried to mask the rot already setting into the reformed classic fivesome as best it could. The result was two vinyl sides with quite different creative agendas: the first aimed at fitting in with '80s mainstream rock expectations (“Bad Attitude,” “Call of the Wild”); the second given to greater freedom (“The Spanish Archer,” “Mitzi Dupree”). But neither was entirely satisfying."

What I say:

Nope, sorry - I can't agree with them on this one. The House of Blue Light is definitely one of the weakest Deep Purple albums, especially after the outstanding comeback record that was Perfect Strangers in 1984. And how exactly is it "probably their most polarising album"? I don't think I've ever seen it anywhere near the top of anyone's list. Don't get me wrong, this album isn't 'bad' as such, just a rather significant let down after it's predecessor. The songs can be solid ('Bad Attitude', 'The Spanish Archer' and 'Black & White' come to mind), but the production is far too glossy for it's own good and takes away from the raw power of the band. Meh.

11. THE BOOK OF TALIESYN (1968)

What they say:

"Arguably the Mk. I formation’s finest hour, 'The Book of Taliesyn' saw the young group bending (“Listen, Learn, Read On,” “Shield”) but not exactly breaking (“Kentucky Woman,” the fearsome “Wring that Neck”) under the strain of psychedelia’s cultural onslaught. These days, Rod Evans’ histrionic voice simply doesn’t sound big enough for Deep Purple, but it would be shortsighted to ignore the considerable success enjoyed by the original quintet."

What I say:

*Sigh*. I find The Book of Taliesyn to be the worst of the original lineup's output by quite a large margin. It's not really a terrible record or anything like that, it's just an obvious step backwards after the promising debut, Shades of Deep Purple. The songs somehow manage to be less refined and memorable than what the debut had to offer, nor do they match the same creative brilliance that the 1969 self-titled record offered. I don't even agree with what they had to say about Rod Evans. I actually think he was the right man for the job during this period, despite the mediocrity of this album. 'Wring That Neck' is great though, I'll give 'em that. And I enjoy what they did with the Beatles cover, 'We Can Work It Out' too. 

10. WHOOSH! (2020)

What they say:

"They came in with a gutsy motto: "Deep Purple is putting the 'Deep' back in 'Purple,'" and delivered. Rather than endlessly noodling, 'Whoosh!' got right to the pile-driving point. Only a pair of these throwback rockers go past five minutes, and most are less than four. That tight focus helped Deep Purple completely reclaim their towering legacy on this late-career gem. They then closed the circle by returning for a rumbling ride through "And the Address," from 1968's 'Shades of Deep Purple.'"

What I say:

To be fair, they're pretty much spot-on with this one. Whoosh! is great stuff - short(ish), but well-crafted songs add up to create a very consistent latter-period Purple record. 'Nothing At All' is phenomenal. 'Throw My Bones' is a fantastically catchy single. 'No Need to Shout' is a classy hard rocker. 'The Power of the Moon' is a moody, dark piece. And yes, the throwback to 'And the Address' is also great fun.

9. STORMBRINGER (1974)

What they say:

"Even with Blackmore already half-checked out, conspiring to launch his new musical venture Rainbow, the sheer talent of all those involved in 'Stormbringer' guaranteed an often spellbinding, if not always entirely consistent, listening experience. The bombastic title track, the funky “You Can’t Do It Right” and the uncharacteristic ballad, “Soldier of Fortune” were all top-notch in their own peculiar ways, but the rest of the songs suffered."

What I say:

Definitely a step down from 1973's Burn, but still a classic from the Mk. III version of the band nonetheless. This album is lacking in the hard rock department, with only the title track and 'Lady Double Dealer' really managing to rock me. The rest of the songs are really soulful, funk-tinged R&B numbers - but thankfully all very good ones. So I definitely disagree with the part where they claim "the rest of the songs suffered". Every track on here has something going for it. I especially enjoy 'Love Don't Mean a Thing', 'Hold On', 'Soldier of Fortune' and 'You Can't Do It Right' as well as the aforementioned title track and 'Lady Double Dealer'.

8. WHO DO WE THINK WE ARE (1973)

What they say:

"'Who Do We Think We Are' is, far and away, the weakest album cut by the vaunted Mk. II lineup, which, by 1973, was fraying under the pain of incessant touring and the fractured relationship between Gillan and Blackmore. Nevertheless, they still conjured up some magic with the perennial fan favorite “Woman From Tokyo,” the hypnotizing “Super Trouper,” and kinetic blues shuffle “Rat Bat Blue,” before taking a nap across much of the remaining tracks."

What I say:

While I agree that this was the worst album the Mk. II lineup put out during their original tenure, I still don't think there's any duff tracks to be found here. The one's they did mention are accurate descriptions, but 'Mary Long' is a catchy rocker, 'Smooth Dancer' is a kickass, energetic deep cut, 'Place in Line' is an enjoyable blues romp and 'Our Lady' is an almost gospel-tinged number that somehow works. Ranking this at number eight seems too generous, but I still enjoy every track on here.

7. PURPENDICULAR (1996)

What they say:

"After the unhappy debacle that was 'The Battle Rages On...,' most everyone left Deep Purple for dead, assuming it would take a minor miracle to resurrect the long-in-the-tooth ensemble again, not least without the once-again departed Blackmore. But a small miracle is what they got in the well-traveled Steve Morse, who helped the group deliver an undervalued gem in 'Purpendicular,' especially on stellar offerings like “Loosen My Strings” and “Sometimes I Feel Like Screaming.”"

What I say:

A fantastic first-outing for Steve Morse, one of the most underrated guitar players in rock. He revitalised the band on this record, which, although not my favourite of the Morse outings (Now What?! takes that place), I wouldn't argue with anyone if they said this was their favourite of the modern Purple records. 'Sometimes I Feel Like Screaming' is a masterpiece, one of their best ballads of all time. 'Vavoom: Ted the Mechanic' is stupidly good fun. 'The Aviator' is a stunning, acoustic-driven piece... absolutely no weak moments on Purpendicular then. So yeah, they're right about this one too.

6. PERFECT STRANGERS (1984)

What they say:

"Deep Purple’s long-anticipated comeback, following a nine-year hiatus, 'Perfect Strangers' was well worth the wait, simultaneously drawing upon the group’s signature sound while modernizing it for the '80s. And while those then-new production techniques have dated the album somewhat, nothing can dull the lasting power of the suitably emotional title track, the devious “Knocking at Your Back Door,” and lesser favorites like “Mean Streak” and “A Gypsy’s Kiss.”"

What I say:

Yep, they hit the nail on the head here. Perfect Strangers is one of the greatest comeback albums in rock history, and I totally agree that they modernised their signature sound with this record. But I'd also add that they were finetuning their craft - the songwriting is more predictable than those classics from the early 70's, but also more refined. And yes, the only real downside is the now-dated 80's production.

5. COME TASTE THE BAND (1975)

What they say:

Blackmore’s absence (he had recently departed to form Rainbow) caused many people, including Jon Lord, to dismiss 'Come Taste the Band' as something other than a "true" Deep Purple album. But that was before Steve Morse racked up more years of service with the band than Ritchie ever did. Still, the short-lived, Tommy Bolin-enhanced Mk. IV lineup snatched victory from the jaws of defeat with this imperfect, but oftentimes brilliant LP, including the exquisite “Owed to a ‘G’ / This Time Around.”

What I say:

Come Taste the Band is a legitimately great record alright, but putting it at number five seems like overkill to me. Top ten is fair for sure, but definitely not top five. I kinda respect their placement of it though, because this is an album that certainly deserves more attention. Tommy Bolin did somehow make the music work after Blackmore's departure. It still has a fair chunk of the funk/R&B influence that Stormbringer brought to the table, but Bolin's playing injects this formula with more welcoming energy. I agree that the Glenn Hughes-fronted 'This Time Around' is exquisite, and other standouts include the rock n' roller 'Comin' Home', the funk rockers 'Gettin' Tighter' and 'Dealer', the infectious 'I Need Love' and the heavy, driving 'Love Child'.

4. FIREBALL (1971)

What they say:

"'Fireball' is, in many respects, the most underrated and eclectic creation of the glorious Mk.II lineup. The opening title track was a bona fide scorcher, “Strange Kind of Woman” was a perfect single, the country-inflected “Anyone's Daughter” a career rarity -- and a hoot -- and “No One Came” an incredible ensemble piece, reflecting Deep Purple’s singular power in a live setting, but captured in the studio."

What I say:

The bridge between Deep Purple In Rock and Machine Head, Fireball is the weakest of the three - but only because those other two really are that good. The songs on Fireball are still absolutely awesome. The band experiment more here, what with the psychedelia moments on songs like 'Fools', 'No No No' and 'The Mule' (a throwback to the Mk. I days?), and the aforementioned 'Anyone's Daughter' which of course dabbles with country. It's what sets this record apart from both In Rock and Machine Head, and makes it a fantastic album in it's own right. Of course, you've still got the signature heaviness of the Mk. II lineup with the title track, 'Demon's Eye' and 'No One Came'. It all adds up to create something truly brilliant.

3. BURN (1972)

What they say:

"Deep Purple’s Mk. III lineup saw the band swapping Gillan and Roger Glover for David Coverdale and Glenn Hughes. Their first record, 'Burn' is quite simply a colossal album that gets better with every year that passes. Except for its forgettable instrumental closer, “‘A’ 200,” every song is an absolute monster in its own way, with the kinetic title cut, the irresistible “Might Just Take Your Life” and the massive burn-the-house-down blues catharsis of “Mistreated” as the particular standouts."

What I say:

I don't think I could put this above Fireball, but I won't argue with UCR's choice here either. There's very little to complain about regarding Burn, the first Mk. III album with David Coverdale and Glenn Hughes - and certainly one of the finest Deep Purple records. The music is still Deep Purple alright, but there's more groove and class this time around. The title track is a real scorcher, 'Lay Down, Stay Down' is an immensely fun rocker, 'You Fool No One' is irresistibly infectious and 'Mistreated' is the blues epic that both Blackmore and Coverdale held onto with Rainbow and Whitesnake - and for good reason. 

2. MACHINE HEAD (1972)

What they say:

"'Machine Head' is Deep Purple’s most essential and influential album, hands down, what with timeless classics like the unbeatable show opener “Highway Star,” maybe the band’s best ever pure single in “Never Before,” the irrepressible “Space Truckin’,” and the mother of all riffs in “Smoke on the Water.” But it falls just short of being their best because remaining cuts “Pictures of Home” and “Lazy” fall just shy of spectacular and “Maybe I’m a Leo” is a flat-out disappointment. But it's still a must-own."

What I say:

One of the most iconic heavy rock albums of all time. Every song is legendary, and they can go fuck themselves for calling 'Maybe I'm a Leo' a flat-out disappointment!! Machine Head wouldn't be complete without it. It's nice to see them praise the often-overlooked 'Never Before' though. The rest of the songs need no introduction, and the production is perfect. A 10/10 record for me, interchangeable with the number one choice...

1. DEEP PURPLE IN ROCK (1970)

What they say:

"Just like Mount Rushmore, only with five, instead of four, legendary faces, 'In Rock' is Deep Purple’s most important album. Their wholesale reinvention as hard rock doyens and heavy metal godfathers, it saved the group’s career from its late ‘60s doldrums with an amazing set of songs, including blistering standards like “Speed King,” “Bloodsucker,” “Into the Fire," the driving “Flight of the Rat,” and the epic peaks and valleys of “Child in Time.” Giving it the nod over any one of Deep Purple’s four or five greatest albums is obviously subject to debate, but we feel it edges them all!"

What I say:

Depending on what day you ask, some days I'll stick Deep Purple In Rock above Machine Head and vice versa. The point is, both are top-tier Purple. Most people will universally agree that Black Sabbath's debut was the first true heavy metal album of all time, but I'd argue that In Rock - released just a few months later - is actually more 'metallic' and modern than what Sabbath were doing in 1970. There's no real blues influences; the music is pure, unfiltered, raw, intense heavy rock. It's genuinely exciting, and if it wasn't, well, Blackmore wouldn't have allowed it. As good as the Mk. I lineup could be, Ritchie certainly knew what he was doing when he fired Rod Evans and Nick Simper, and brought in Ian Gillan and Roger Glover. There's nothing I can say that hasn't already been said.

Here's my own ranking, for a comparison (excluding Concerto for Group and Orchestra because it shouldn't have been listed in the first place, and also missing Turning to Crime to avoid confusion):

21. Slaves and Masters (1990)

20. The Book of Taliesyn (1968)

19. The House of Blue Light (1987)

18. The Battle Rages On... (1993)

17. Shades of Deep Purple (1968)

16. Bananas (2003)

15. Rapture of the Deep (2005)

14. Abandon (1998)

13. Stormbringer (1974)

12. Come Taste the Band (1975) 

11. Who Do We Think We Are (1973)

10. Infinite (2017)

9. Whoosh! (2020)

8. Purpendicular (1995)

7. Deep Purple (1969)

6. Perfect Strangers (1984)

5. Now What?! (2013)

4. Burn (1973)

3. Fireball (1971)

2. Machine Head (1972)

1. Deep Purple In Rock (1970)

Hmm. That list has made me realise that I now need to go back and re-review Come Taste the Band, Stormbringer and possibly Abandon...